The One

The first thing I usually think about when I hear 'the one' is a soulmate; the person you're meant to be with for the rest of your life. The person that compliments you in every way, the person you won't ever want to live your life without: the 'one.'

But relying on that one person to come isn't enough, and when they do actually come, it still won't be enough. Not because they're not doing everything they can, but because there is really only one being that is meant to fulfill you, and they aren't just any human being.

Having a soulmate to live out your days with is great, and definitely meant to be something we find enjoyment in, but they aren't meant to be the one that you solely rely on for security, purpose, or even happiness. At the end of the day a human being alone isn't capable of completely satisfying your complex human soul because they weren't meant to. If that were the case, heartbreak wouldn't exist and I wouldn't have created two whole blogs based on it.

The reason why a human being alone isn't enough, is because we weren't designed to be fulfilled by or to depend on another human's love or attention. We were designed by a loving Creator who created us to depend on his love and energy alone. Another person is not meant to be God in your life, The One who created you is. I realize now that that is why God is called God, because that's literally who he is meant to be in our lives. No other person or thing is meant to be a god, a.k.a, put on a pedestal as the the center of our affection and dependency. And if you think about it no other person or thing can truly satisfy our souls in the way that it needs to be satisfied.

We were designed to need God, so everything else we try to satisfy ourselves with will never last because the only thing meant to fulfill us completely is communion with our Creator. Our souls are too complex for another human being who also is just as fragile as you to completely satisfy it. We need something bigger than us and what or who we use to temporarily satisfy ourselves.

  This is just a reminder to myself that whenever I'm feeling a little down from reminders of the past with nameless; that my joy, my happiness, my peace, does not rely on his actions. I know I said that in my last post but I'm saying now that I literally cannot rely on him because I wasn't made to be dependent on him. He wasn't created to completely satisfy me either. He's a broken human being who needs The One who he was created for just like the rest of us.

What my heart needs isn't reconciliation with nameless or some grand confession of his love for me, but consistent communion and love by The One I was actually created to depend on; the only One who is meant to be God of my heart and soul. Knowing this is, I think, the key to really healing emotionally.


Until next time.

Facing Your Feelings

I stopped giving my emotional damage much thought when I thought I had a handle on how to subdue the pain. Sometimes it's easy to just treat the symptoms by doing what makes you feel better instead of getting to the root of the issue. Sometimes it's easy to ignore the root issue when you're not being faced with reminders of your past.

But when you do get reminded, all the emotions come rushing back. Suddenly all the memories start swirling in your head, and then a whiff of anger may hit you, or sadness, or regret, or everything all at once. Then the questioning starts, and you're living in those painful moments trying to analyze and find the reasons why everything went wrong.
And it's hard not to entertain those thoughts when...well...they stem from the issues you have in your heart.

Experiencing heartbreak is what caused me to have some 'heart' issues or emotional issues that I thought I had handled by just not thinking about it, living life, and not looking back, yada yada. But ignoring the issues in my heart did not eradicate those issues. Those issues just became dormant until something triggered it. Then I wondered why I was angry and crying about my heartbreak that happened 5 years ago, as if it happened yesterday. Of course I repeated the same process of "just getting over it," and not thinking about it, but that never works for long.

So how do I eradicate this issue completely? I mean for good. Well first, instead of just brushing over my heart, I have to take a good look at it and see the condition that it's in.

I want to be truly, truly at peace. Like no thought about any ounce of my past moves me or brings me even close to tears, or anger, or sadness. I don't want to care enough to relive it and think about it over and over again. Emotional pain takes time to heal from, like serious time, but I think a lot of us don't give ourselves that time. We spend so much time trying to find a quick fix and ignoring just how complex and delicate our hearts are.

Emotions are not something to run away from. I think, instead, they're something to embrace and take heed to because they could be telling us the condition of our hearts.


Until next time.